Journal Entry One
Preface:
Before leaving I had much consternation about this upcoming trip. Everything in me was saying “Don’t go.” But I had this push, this external shove forward. I did everything I could to sabotage this trip. Even fundraising was in fact, purposefully postponed. God on the other hand has the final say in all matters big and small. He said, “You’re going.” Why I am going is still unclear to me. Is it to spread the message? Is it guide the team? Or is it about me?
Forgive me, I do not mean to sound self centered, “About me,” but rather, is there something I’ve lost and need to regain? Maybe it is all of the above. I am not sure, but we will march forward and see.
Journal entry, June 24, 2008
I arrived in LA on the 23rd. All the way down here I kept asking myself, “What are you doing?” “Why are you going?” “You have so many things that need to be taken care of at home.” Furthermore, I kept reminding myself of the trials and tribulations I would be putting myself through. Nonetheless, the plane landed and I met up with the people I needed to.
As we walked through LAX, and if you been to LAX, you know it is a nightmare, a person came into view. I looked at her and from the distance, I recognized her outline. Yep, it was Jess, a former team member from the 2004 trip to Chengdu returning as a team leader. Immediately, I found myself engaged in a conversation with her. Another team leader arrived, a fellow English as a second language teacher. We began to talk and soon the world was right. I forgot about my worries.
Once at the campus we are staying at, familiar ground could be seen. I knew exactly what was in store for me. That evening we gathered, all 18 team leaders and we began to meet the staff that would be training us and caring for us these next few days. My old friend Shereen began her usual lecture, one that I’ve now heard 13 times but still always worth hearing again. Later, war stories began to be told and we all found ourselves swept away in times past.
Today, June 24, we began training in earnest. Larry, the program director must have decided that I’ve been through this training enough that I didn’t need to hear it again giving me a video camera he asked me to film the day’s lecturers. I did so with glee. We trained, prayed and sang worship songs; again the world was being put back into place. Today, I learned that the mission field is where I am happiest at. Everyday must be devoted to God.
This is something hard to do at home. At home we get caught up in everyday routines, fulfilling life’s necessities. We find ourselves swept away in our job, with our families and even wrapped up in silly things like politics. When we enter the mission field, we become focused, most of us do anyway. We pray, and sing worship songs multiple times a day. We think about the job that lay before us. We think about the wellbeing of the team we are going to lead, about the children we are going to teach, and we pray some more. Now we are looking forward and not backward. Forward is where God wants us to move. Staying put, or looking back is not the right place to be. Like an army fighting a war, which we are, we must always advance, never retreat, never give back any ground to the enemy.
The first day is gone.
Before leaving I had much consternation about this upcoming trip. Everything in me was saying “Don’t go.” But I had this push, this external shove forward. I did everything I could to sabotage this trip. Even fundraising was in fact, purposefully postponed. God on the other hand has the final say in all matters big and small. He said, “You’re going.” Why I am going is still unclear to me. Is it to spread the message? Is it guide the team? Or is it about me?
Forgive me, I do not mean to sound self centered, “About me,” but rather, is there something I’ve lost and need to regain? Maybe it is all of the above. I am not sure, but we will march forward and see.
Journal entry, June 24, 2008
I arrived in LA on the 23rd. All the way down here I kept asking myself, “What are you doing?” “Why are you going?” “You have so many things that need to be taken care of at home.” Furthermore, I kept reminding myself of the trials and tribulations I would be putting myself through. Nonetheless, the plane landed and I met up with the people I needed to.
As we walked through LAX, and if you been to LAX, you know it is a nightmare, a person came into view. I looked at her and from the distance, I recognized her outline. Yep, it was Jess, a former team member from the 2004 trip to Chengdu returning as a team leader. Immediately, I found myself engaged in a conversation with her. Another team leader arrived, a fellow English as a second language teacher. We began to talk and soon the world was right. I forgot about my worries.
Once at the campus we are staying at, familiar ground could be seen. I knew exactly what was in store for me. That evening we gathered, all 18 team leaders and we began to meet the staff that would be training us and caring for us these next few days. My old friend Shereen began her usual lecture, one that I’ve now heard 13 times but still always worth hearing again. Later, war stories began to be told and we all found ourselves swept away in times past.
Today, June 24, we began training in earnest. Larry, the program director must have decided that I’ve been through this training enough that I didn’t need to hear it again giving me a video camera he asked me to film the day’s lecturers. I did so with glee. We trained, prayed and sang worship songs; again the world was being put back into place. Today, I learned that the mission field is where I am happiest at. Everyday must be devoted to God.
This is something hard to do at home. At home we get caught up in everyday routines, fulfilling life’s necessities. We find ourselves swept away in our job, with our families and even wrapped up in silly things like politics. When we enter the mission field, we become focused, most of us do anyway. We pray, and sing worship songs multiple times a day. We think about the job that lay before us. We think about the wellbeing of the team we are going to lead, about the children we are going to teach, and we pray some more. Now we are looking forward and not backward. Forward is where God wants us to move. Staying put, or looking back is not the right place to be. Like an army fighting a war, which we are, we must always advance, never retreat, never give back any ground to the enemy.
The first day is gone.
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